berthas-awesome

Bear me no il will my love, for at last we are even, for what died in that room was not that woman, but the last breath of me that was human. Bear me no ill will my love, for at last we are even, for my heart once fluttered with emptyness is now more vast with the absence of a heart beat. Bear me no ill will my love, for at last we are even, because the truth has revealed itself to me                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I am dead inside.

I am only half awake. I am only half asleep. I am only half me, half someon else. I am only half happy, or half depressed. The cup is only ever half full or half empty, never full. I am only half smiling. I am only half crying. I am only half high, half drunk, or half relaxed. I am only half in love, half infatuated. I am half here, half gone. I am half fucking genius, half fucking retarded. I am only half sick, but I am never well. I am only half a person, because my other half is next to me.

In the darkness, the music beats Lights flash not few but far between I close my eyes as I begin to sway Feeling the bass rippling through the crowd I feel hands, two, maybe three On my waist on my back Pulling me in each direction I dance close with those around me No emotion, No words Dance with me It is as impersonal as can be In a pitch black room Bodies crashing against bodies like the waves of the ever rhythmic oceans Stopping to breathe, stopping to feel the heat of hundreds of bodies working together, all in rhythm Like clockwork, moving together in a commune We work faster and faster Until the last note fades And

I say goodbye to the children, Always needing my affection. Goodbye to endless hours Of my life's infection. Goodbye to those dirty floors, Always needing to be washed. Endless seas of fast food toys Piles of laundry needing tossed. I say goodbye to that awful sound, Bottles hitting marble counters. Slurred speach and blind eyes That I could never counter. So I took the children to my breast And said, "Be good for me my sweets." I raised them well and after all If I visit, I'll bring treats.

Roses on beds of thorn Careful not to prick my finger Pieces of me are torn Pick one, so as not to linger

Winter is your eyes laughing up at the gentle tree falling Summer gardens of eternity Here it rains and it storms The wisdom of a thousand lights

I am optimistic I want to bathe in the sun I do not judge I am honest I wear my heart in my hand Like a goddess is my wrath but calming is my smile I am transparent I understand our life It is beautiful I tend to be violent I want to shield myself People are idiots They crowd me, I can't breathe My heart a saphire gleaming cold and blue Sarcasm is my smile I am a wall I don't care about life It has damned me